


Ages 8 and Up

by onigiriwoozi



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bookstore, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Childhood Friends, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Light Angst, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Mentioned Hong Jisoo | Joshua, Mentioned Lee Seokmin | DK, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 03:01:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28646451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onigiriwoozi/pseuds/onigiriwoozi
Summary: A timeline of Hansol and Seungkwan’s relationship, starting from how they met at their local bookstore at the age of 8, to how they realized their feelings at the age of 18.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	Ages 8 and Up

8 

“Mom mom mom I found it,” Hansol tugged at the hem of his mother’s sweater as he lead her to the aisle sectioned for the writing and coloring materials. A variety of watercolor palettes and felt tip markers were all carefully aligned and organized across the shelves, but Hansol didn’t pay any attention to them since his eyes were already locked on the remaining box of crayons with 48 colors on the far end of the aisle. Sure, there were still other boxes left of the crayons with 12 and 24 colors, but no, the 48 set was the one in trend nowadays.

Hansol pointed at the box, and stared up at his mom who he found got distracted by the acrylic paint tubes a shelf higher from the crayons. 

“Ma no, not that. This,” he said in order to get her attention. 

“Oh, sorry. Go and put it on our basket.”

Later on, while his mom was still busy in choosing which canvas size to get, and debating on whether she should buy a new angled brush, a sudden distant cry can be heard a few aisles from them, presumably from the aisle they were a few minutes ago. 

The cries got louder, so Hansol assumed that the crying person was probably getting nearer. He then peeked from behind a shelf and saw a boy crying to his mom while holding a box of crayons. 

“Hey, is he your son? What happened?” Hansol heard his mom say from behind him. 

“Oh yes, he is. He just really wanted the biggest box of crayons but the clerk told us it was sold out.” 

When Hansol heard this, he immediately glanced back at the box of crayons that the other boy was holding. After squinting hard, he realized that the boy was holding a box with 24 colors. Hansol instantly hid behind the shelf he was peeking from and pulled their basket, which was on the floor, closer to him. 

Although he felt a tiny bit guilty, he still internally laughed and felt proud of himself for how fast he got the last box of crayons left. He was excited to go to school tomorrow to show it off to his friends.

9 

Hansol’s mom ran out of cyan acrylic paint.

He kept telling her that he can go buy from the store, saying that it was only a few minutes away and that nothing will happen to him in the middle of the day since most of the people are out anyway. She was still worried and insisted that they go together, but Hansol was very persistent in saying how he was already a big boy and that he can do things by himself pretty well. 

In the end she finally said yes, and made sure to call the bookstore owner in advance to inform them that her son would be going there alone to buy acrylic paint. Since they both frequently go there to buy his mom’s art supplies, the store owners already knew them and are already good friends with his mom.

So when he came in, the owners immediately smiled at him and told him how proud they were that he’s running errands for his mom. Upon finishing small talk with them, he finally went to the aisle where the acrylic tubes can be found, easily making his way through various shelves since he already knew the place by heart.

As he was just about to reach for the specific shade of blue that his mom asked for, he noticed someone next to him who was having a hard time choosing which kind of black marker pen he would buy, judging from the way he kept on test writing on the paper using markers with different tips. 

Hansol thought that he should just let the other person be and not say anything at all, but the alcohol scent from the markers irritated him, so he found himself tapping on the boy’s shoulder next to him. 

“Hey, all of the test marker’s ink are going to run out if you keep doing that,” he said in a calm manner, trying not to scare the other boy. He was pretty surprised at how quiet his voice came out, considering that he was already annoyed with all the marker fumes surrounding them. 

“Ah, sorry. I just don’t know what to get,” the other replied as he turned to face him. Now that Hansol got to see his face, he realized that the other looked familiar.

“Well, what are you gonna do with it?”

“Uhh- I’m gonna draw,” the other said shyly, his head bowing down with an exhale to show just how much time he’s wasted in trying to choose a marker. 

“Something big or something small?”

“Small. It’s for a birthday card.”

“Oh, then get this,” Hansol said as he reached for a marker with a bullet tip. “My mom likes to use this when she draws our cat on her notebook.”

Hansol hands the marker to the boy, and the other thanks him. Then Hansol’s reminded again of how he looked familiar.

“Wait, have I seen you before?” Hansol finally asks, to which the other looks up to him in curiosity.

“I don’t think so? I’ve never seen you. But I come here a lot.”

And then Hansol remembers.

“Ah! I know!” Hansol said while laughing.

“What? Why are you laughing,” the other asked with his furrowed brows. 

“You were the one that wanted the crayons box! I saw you crying!”

“Huh?” the other said, his face visibly trying to remember an event in his life that aligns to what Hansol said. When he did, his face lit up for a bit, then contorted into disgust and embarrassment. Now the other is slamming his hand to his forehead in distress, which made Hansol laugh even more. 

“How can you remember th- Hey! Stop laughing,” the other retorted, and visibly looking as if he was almost going to cry from rage. 

“Okay, okay, sorry. I’m Hansol by the way,” Hansol introduced himself, offering his hand to the other. 

“I’m Seungkwan,” the other replied after a moment of thought, probably debating on whether he should say his name or not. Seungkwan shook the hand that was offered to him, and looked up again, now with a smile on his face, though it still had a hint of annoyance. 

“Are you done? Let’s go pay together,” Hansol said as he finally reached for the acrylic paint, and proceeded to walk back near the entrance in which the cashier was, with Seungkwan by his side.

12 

“You’re really going back to America?” Seungkwan asked for the hundredth time while they were going through the designated shelf for board games on the corner of the store. They’ve been looking all day for the Rummikub board game that Seungkwan saw on a Youtube video yesterday, and their local book store was their only hope, since they’ve already hopped from one store to another, all of which they were unsuccessful in finding their treasure.

“When will you stooop?” Hansol replied, drawing out the word to Seungkwan. “At this point I want to leave right away so that I can get away from you faster.” 

Seungkwan put both his hands up in a defensive manner. “Jeez, just kidding. When again are you leaving?”

“Thursday night. A week from now,” Hansol replied while his eyes were still squinting hard across the shelves. He then finally saw the game they were looking for on the bottom shelf, tucked between two card games. Hansol bent down and picked it up, handing it to Seungkwan after. “Isn’t this the one you were looking for?”

“Yes! Finally,” Seungkwan happily snatched the board game from Hansol’s hands and checked the price tag. 

“I’ll pay.”

“Huh?” Seungkwan answered as Hansol took the board game back and proceeded to the cashier. 

“Parting gift.”

15 

_seungkwan  
kwan  
boo  
seung  
kwannieeee _

_wha  
t _

_(sent a photo)_

_huh  
r u in a plane??  
WAIT  
_

_hehe  
yeah  
(sent a photo)  
visiting grandparents, staying for a month  
;)_

_shut up_

_(sent a photo)  
mom says hi_

_hELLO MRS CHWE  
I MISS UR PANCAKES  
wait  
but  
WHEN?  
_

_be right there in like  
10 hours  
maybe even less :)))_

_WHY DIDNT U TELL ME??  
_

_  
SURPRISE LOL  
c u  
_

15 

“…and yeah, oh and remember that time in the arcade when that kid beat your high score on guitar hero? I went there almost every day and practiced until I got an even better score than him. Though someone else beat me I think about a year ago,” Seungkwan blabbered on, Hansol just listening to him rant about his life ever since he left three years ago. He could go on listening to Seungkwan all day since his stories made him feel as though he never left in the first place.

Both of them met up again on the book store, like what they’ve been doing ever since they got closer. One would always wait for the other while scanning the store casually, or maybe even talking with the owners. Although years have passed, Hansol was still welcomed by the book store warmly, by the scent of paper, the smiles of the owners, and the knowledge that Seungkwan was probably waiting for him on the children’s fiction aisle, looking for innuendos on short stories and picture books. 

“But, enough about me, how about you?” 

“Uhhh,” Hansol thought, thinking about all the things that happened to him, until one specific cringey memory flashed before his eyes—his face immediately forming a disgusted expression that didn’t go unnoticed to Seungkwan.

“Why? What happened? Why do you look like you witnessed a beheading?” Seungkwan said in between laughs. 

“Well, I- I dated someone.”

“Really?” the older said, his eyes forming into giant orbs and his mouth going slack. “Spill, spill. What was she like? Did you guys already, you know,” he added while puckering his lips towards Hansol.

“What?! No, well, almost.”

Seungkwan’s expression changed into something more shocked, as if his previous expression wasn’t shocked enough. “Why?”

“Well, she wasn’t really my type, I guess?”

“Then why’d you date her in the first place?”

“People said she was nice and that she liked me so, you know,” Hansol said shyly, rubbing his neck and gaining a blush on his face.

“Hansol, you don’t date someone just because people tell you to,” Seungkwan berated, sounding more like a mother rather than a best friend. 

“I know, I know. But true though, she was nice. It’s just, I don’t know.”

16 

The phone calls and video chats got less frequent than they used to be.

Seungkwan kept reassuring Hansol that everything was fine, that he was just dealing with school and that he had been busy with teaching kids vocal lessons as a side job and hobby. The same goes with Hansol, stating that he had also gained interest in music, so besides school he also spent a lot of time trying to teach himself how to compose and arrange. Although besides all of these, Hansol still felt that one of his fears is actually coming, and that is their loss of connection. 

He knew it was bound to happen, since they no longer see each other in the flesh, and it’s quite tiring and boring to communicate online since both of them can’t really do any physical activity. To top it all off, the time difference makes it harder for them to reply instantly, making the conversations unnecessarily long, losing thrill and becoming stagnant. 

Though despite this, Hansol still tried his best and always welcomed a new topic with enthusiasm. He just knew that he couldn’t let go of Seungkwan that easily. They’ve already spent years away from each other and they’re still friends, so surely they can survive a lot more. Add the fact that he could tell that Seungkwan was also trying to make it work, which reminded him of how much the other cared the same way he did.

“When are you coming back?” Seungkwan asked one night, well, morning to Hansol.

“Why?” 

“Nothing.”

17 

“Yeah, he’s really cool. I mean, if I didn’t meet him then I dunno how I would be able to survive this year without getting a little bit of Korea here in the US,” Hansol told Seungkwan through their video call, gesturing wildly with his hands. He was really glad he met Joshua since he now had someone who he could share his culture with, and at the same time someone who he could actually talk to in Korean. Though Joshua still wasn’t that fluent, it was still so nice and much better than having to speak in English all the time.

“He’s older than us, though I don’t really call him hyung. Well, except when I speak to him in Korean of course and he—”

“Hey, I have to go. Teacher duties,” Seungkwan suddenly said in the middle of Hansol’s sentence. He usually doesn’t do that. 

“Uh, but didn’t your student today cancel?”

“Yeah, sorry. Her mom just sent me a text and she said that they decided to postpone their trip. And besides, you should already be sleeping too.

“I’m still not tired though, but yeah I’ll try to sleep since I’ll be out early in the morning tomorrow to go out with Joshua.”

“Ahh,” Hansol heard Seungkwan say through the phone. He knew something was up but he didn’t push it, figuring that Seungkwan probably didn’t want to talk about it for now. Besides, they always told each other if there was something wrong so Hansol knew that Seungkwan would tell him soon when he already wants to talk about it.

“Okay. Good night,” Seungkwan added.

“Yeah, go Seungkwan! Have fun with the lessons. Hope it goes well.” 

Then Seungkwan ended the call with a small bye.

17 

It has been approximately a month since Hansol and Seungkwan had a proper conversation. They did talk almost every week, but they were all either asking how the other person’s day went, or just simply texting each other memes that they think the other would like. Even though Hansol was happy that they still remain to be in contact, he still can’t shake the feeling that something was wrong, and Seungkwan just didn’t want to tell him. Today though, he’s had enough of it since Seungkwan seemed much more distant these past couple of days.

“Hey, we good?” he asked just after he heard Seungkwan say hello as he picked up Hansol’s phone call.

“Huh? No hello back?” Seungkwan said in a teasing tone, almost making Hansol think that everything was fine and that there was nothing to worry about. He debated for a few seconds if he was still going to push through with asking if there was anything wrong with Seungkwan, or between them, but he then thought that he was going to do it sooner or later, so he should just do it now.

“Okay, hello. So, is something wrong?”

“What do you mean?” Hansol can hear how hesitant Seungkwan was, and he can even visually imagine how Seungkwan’s head was tilted to the side and his eyes looking from side to side when he’s nervous. Hansol wishes he could see it up close and in person, rather than through a screen that freezes every few minutes. 

“You know what I mean.” 

“Is, is it about me coming back?” Hansol added after a long pause between the both of them. 

“No, well, yes. But, not really. I guess… it’s just been a rough few weeks,” Seungkwan replied with a sigh. Hansol could tell that the other was choosing his words carefully, judging from the way the older seemed to speak slowly compared to how he normally talks. 

“Then, why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve helped you. How are you doing now though, are you fine? Is someone actually bothering you or are y– “

“Woah, hey,” the other laughed through Hansol’s speaker, Seungkwan’s light-hearted voice instantly calming him down. “I’m fine, I’m fine. I just, didn’t want to bother you.”

“But, why? You know we tell each other everything.”

“Yeah. Well…. but you’ve just been having fun with your Joshua hyung that—” 

“Oh,” Hansol said, finally realizing the reason behind Seungkwan’s behaviour.

“What?”

“Ah, shit. I’m—I’m sorry,” the younger stated in a sad tone. He had a hunch that that could be the reason why Seungkwan wasn’t talking to him as much, but he immediately put that though on the back of his head as soon as it came up, thinking that Seungkwan was probably not that kind of person. But now that Hansol heard those words come from the other, he quickly felt regret knowing that he didn’t do anything about it beforehand. 

“Sorry. I knew that I might’ve sounded irritating with how much I talked about him to you, but I still kept doing it. I’m sorry,” he added.

“Oh, no it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. It’s nice to know that you’ve been having fun,” and at this point Hansol swears he could’ve heard the _without me_ on the small laugh that Seungkwan added on the end of his sentence, trying to make the conversation light, to which he failed. 

“But still, I didn’t think about what you might feel, you know?” 

“Really, don’t worry about it. Go do stuff, I’ll be fine,” Hansol heard from the other, his tone a lot firmer, yet at the same time had a hint of sadness. Hansol could see the sad smile Seungkwan had on his lips, and he wishes he could just wipe it off with a kiss. 

“Okay okay, if you say so. I’ll be better though, I promise.”

Be better by not calling me in the middle of the night.”

“Oh, I forgot. Sorry, sorry. Time sucks,” Hansol sulked like a kid, to which the other replied with a giggle. 

They soon ended the call with the assurance of talking to each other more openly, and frequently. As Hansol dropped his phone with a smile to the desk next to him, he realized what he had though earlier throughout their conversation.

_Wipe his what with a what?_

18 

_  
hey  
(sent a photo)  
_

_no_

_yes_

_NO_

_wtf i just told u yes  
(sent a photo)  
_

_im gonna cry_

_go  
HAHAHHA  
_

_SHUT UP  
how long u staying  
and stop surprising me like this  
tell me like  
a week before at least  
_

_but i like surprising u  
same as before  
a month  
_

18 

Surprisingly, after all these years, the book store was still alive and well. Although it looked a bit different since the space got wider, the store still had the same charm as it did before. As soon as Hansol stepped in, the owners greeted him with warm smiles, still the same as before, though with the additional wrinkles on their faces after all these years.

While talking with them, Hansol found out that when the old coffee shop next to the book store closed, they immediately bought the land and decided to reconstruct the book store to make it bigger. They also kept mentioning how Seungkwan always managed to visit, either to buy something or to just chat with them. 

“He even got us tea once just because he said we’re nice to him.”

“I swear that young man is so bright, and ah—speaking of,” one of the owners said as soon as the bell rang, signaling a new customer’s arrival. Hansol looked back and as expected, Seungkwan approached with a smile on his face. Seeing him up close made him feel as if he was on a rollercoaster. Due to anxiousness or excitement, he didn’t know. But why would he even be anxious though? 

Hansol met Seungkwan in the middle and gave him a tight hug, pouring all those years of being deprived of his best friend into a few seconds of close contact. 

“Did you just drink coffee? You reek of iced americano,” Hansol said as soon as they broke apart. 

“What? Sorry, stop being my mom,” Seungkwan replied, rolling his eyes then laughing as the corners of his eyes crinkled. He then looked behind Hansol to smile at the owners, to which they returned with wider ones. 

“Let’s go?”

18 

_So, this is what it feels_ like Hansol thought as Seungkwan told him about this guy named Seokmin. 

Well, Hansol was happy though, for the most part. 

It’s good that Seungkwan has this new co-vocal tutor and singing buddy, someone who Seungkwan can talk to about whatever vocalists talk about. Seokmin was also there to accompany Seungkwan on impulsive noraebang sessions, to late night eat outs, and even shopping.

 _Wow? Shopping?_ Okay, maybe he was a little jealous. 

“…uhh, you good?” Hansol heard as fingers started snapping before his eyes. “You’ve been out for like, a solid minute.”

“Yeah, sorry sorry. What were you saying?”

“Ah, wanna meet him? We’ll be going out next week.”

Then Hansol felt panicky. At first, he thought that it would be a good opportunity to bond with Seungkwan, as well as this mysterious guy that just squeezed into the picture. Maybe it was also a good time to show how much him and Seungkwan get along, then maybe that Seokmin would back off for a bit. But then he realized, what if he becomes a third wheel? Knowing that Seungkwan and Seokmin have been haning out for a while, he’ll probably be left behind. 

“Oh, I’ll see though. I dunno what we’ll do next week, so I’ll check.”

And check he did, to which he found out that he was actually free. He debated at first on whether he should just lie and stay at home, but the feeling of being competitive got the best of him. 

They met on the book store the following week, which in all honesty irked Hansol a bit. Knowing that the book store was probably their official place, having someone else to meet there instead of just Seungkwan made him feel things. 

Seokmin was a funny guy, he really is. And Hansol hated to admit it but he liked the guy, with the additional bonus points of them being birthday twins. 

But still, Hansol still felt off whenever Seungkwan would laugh at something Seokmin says, even though it is legitimately funny.

18 

“I think that Seokmin guy’s weird. Are you sure he’s okay?” Hansol suddenly said out of the blue while they were scanning through old books on the farthest corner from the entrance of the book store. It was almost dinner time, so not a lot of people came in, leaving the two of them to be the only customers of the store. 

“What do you mean? Of course he’s okay. If he wasn’t then I wouldn’t be hanging out with him in the first place.”

“Yeah, sorry,” Hansol quickly replied, returning his gaze to the shelf in front of him.

“Okay, what is this about anyway,” Seungkwan said as he stopped in his tracks and turned his whole body towards Hansol, his arms crossed and his side leaning against the shelf. “You’ve been the one that’s acting weird. You randomly bring up Seokmin when we’re together, yet when I talk about him your face does this... _thing.”_

And it is true though. Whenever Hansol and Seungkwan were having a normal conversation, Hansol somehow finds himself asking about Seokmin’s whereabouts, even if the guy doesn’t have a slight bit of suspicious behavior present within himself in the first place. Hansol blamed it on his competitive self for wanting to show that their bond was stronger from years of friendship, but that’s what he keeps telling himself. He knew why he was acting that way, yet he kept shooing the thought away since he didn’t want to confront it.

He’s already been thinking about it ever since their phone call a year ago. Although, he guesses that the nail to the coffin was when he saw Seungkwan enter the book store with that smile on his face weeks ago. He guessed that the feeling of anxiousness that he felt that time wasn’t even anxiousness. Something kind of similar, though a _lot_ deadlier.

“Nothing. Just, wanted to make sure, you know,” the younger replied, still not making eye contact with the other and focusing on the accountancy textbooks before him, which didn’t help in trying to distract him from the situation at hand. 

“I’m still not convinced, but okay if you say so,” Seungkwan said before finally turning to continue skimming some paperbacks. 

After a few minutes though, Hansol heard the word that he’d been dreading to hear, since he knows that when this conversation starts, it won’t end nicely. 

“I get it, you’re jealous.”

“No, I am not,” Hansol turns to face Seungkwan, who was now the one who wasn’t making eye contact. 

“Then how would you explain your behavior then?” Seungkwan said, finally turning to meet Hansol’s gaze. “Now you know what I felt a year ago,” Seungkwan added in a small voice thinking that Hansol wouldn’t hear as he turned back towards the shelf. 

“Oh, now you’re going to bring back what happened. I said I was sorry. Besides, it was your fault in the first place since you didn’t tell me right away,” the younger snapped back. Hansol didn’t know why but a sudden wave of exasperation hit him, although he knew he would regret everything that he was saying later on. 

“Well it wasn’t my fault that you were numb and didn’t know what I was feeling since you were selfish and only focused on yourself,” Seungkwan replied hastily as his voice gained volume. Hansol could see the hurt in the other’s eyes with the way they glistened with unshed tears and all he wanted to do at that moment was to hug him and say he’s sorry, but his mouth was saying otherwise.

“Wow, talking about being numb, yet you’re the one who can’t see or feel shit,” Hansol said before he could think. 

“What?” the older said, his voice no longer had anger to it, but was instead replaced with curiosity. 

“Nothing. Forget it,” Hansol said, his eyes dropping down to stare at his shoes. He was expecting Seungkwan to let it slide and for an awkward silence to settle between them, but what he wasn’t expecting was Seungkwan’s voice getting louder than before. 

“Now this is the problem with you. You either tell me all the nice things you’ve been up to, or nothing at all. You confuse me. It’s as if you only tell me the fun stuff you do in the states without me, like you’re trying to make me jealous,” Seungkwan said, his voice now completely oozing with rage. This was the first time Hansol has heard (and seen) Seungkwan like this, and he definitely didn’t like it. “And yeah well congrats, you’re fucking succeeding.”

“So that’s why you’ve been all cheery and happy with your Seokmin huh? To get back at me?” 

“What? No! I’m not like you Hansol,” the older said. The way Hansol heard his name from Seungkwan’s mouth this time was so far from the usual way he always says his name. 

“You just don’t get it. You never get it,” Hansol said with an exasperated sigh. He already just wanted this situation to end and wish it never happened in the first place. 

“What do I not get Hansol?! Then tell m—”

“You’ll never understand your effect on me. The way you say my name, the way you look at me, the way that I can even imagine your coffee scent when you’re not with me. God, I can even hear your smile over the phone.”

At this point there was no turning back, so Hansol just went for it.

“What do you mean?” he heard Seungkwan say, his voice now so quiet it’s as if it was a whisper. 

“See? You don’t know,” Hansol said with a humorless chuckle.

“Then just say i—” 

Before Hansol could say anything, his mind and heart moved faster than his voice did. He found himself closing the small distance before him and the older, his lips finding contact with Seungkwan’s. 

It was just like how he imagined it, but not quite. It was soft and warm, yet uncertain and impulsive. Almost, but not it. 

He broke it off when he realized what he just did. His eyes grew big, and so did Seungkwan’s. He didn’t exactly know what expression the other wore on his face, but he’s pretty sure that he probably had the same on his. 

Hansol didn’t know what else to do, so he just left, following wherever his feet led him to, which in this case was the exit.

18 

It’s been a few weeks, and not even a reaction on any of each other’s post was present. 

A few days after the incident, Hansol left Korea without even seeing Seungkwan before his flight. And until now, not a single word was exchanged between the two. 

Hansol knew that after what happened, he can’t turn back time. Even if he begged Seungkwan to forget everything that had happened that day, everything won’t go back to how they usually were. So he figured that this is where it has to end. He wouldn’t want to bring back the friendship they once had since he knew that Seungkwan won’t feel comfortable hanging out with him because of this additionalyaknowledge regarding Hansol’s feeling. There would always be this underlying awkwardness between them. He would hate it, and he won’t forgive himself for ruining the bond they shared. 

For the first week Hansol thought he was going to be fine, but as soon as he saw Seungkwan’s posts with his other friends, specifically Seokmin, his heart immediately drops and he often wishes to just send Seungkwan a text, but he always decides against it. It also didn’t help that Seungkwan seemed happy online, which made Hansol feel a lot heavier. Although, he thinks it’s a good thing seeing Seungkwan like his usual self on social media, since it means that Seungkwan wasn’t affected too much by what happened and is just going on with his life, and it’s also a reminder for Hansol to move on. 

A month after, Seungkwan bleached his hair blond. Hansol wanted to tell him how he looked good and that he was brave for bleaching his whole head right away, but who was he now to Seungkwan but a bunch of pixels on a screen, and a thousand miles from him in real life. 

Three months later, Seungkwan meets someone. The posts were subtle, only showing an additional plate on a table, a pair of shoes walking closely next to him, and a stranger’s hand holding his.

19 

_hey_

_hi_

_how are you?_

_y so formal lol_

_okay fine, how r u  
hahah  
_

_HEY i was kidding  
but im fine yeah  
why?  
_

_can i call you?_

_sure_

19 

“Hey,” was the first thing that Hansol hears from him in months. Seungkwan’s voice hasn’t changed; it was still the same warm tone, but with a hint of being unsure. He’ll still take it nonetheless. He’ll want to hear Seungkwan’s voice at this point, whatever tone it may be.

They still haven’t talked for long, although they started liking each other’s posts a month since Hansol left back then. So this marks as their first ever conversation in a while, the scene both familiar yet unknown to him. Mostly familiar though.

“Yeah, hi. What’s going on?” Hansol replied, fully sitting up from his previous position of lying down in bed. 

“Just… I don’t know. I don’t really know why I called you,” Seungkwan said with a huff, as if he’d been holding his breath ever since they started the call. 

“Uhh, then let’s start with how’s your day,” Hansol said to lighten up the mood. He still has no idea why Seungkwan just called him, and he could tell that the other did too, but it was a good opportunity to catch up with him, maybe even mend a tiny bit of their friendship lost in time and unsolicited feelings. 

“Well, I went to see a couple of friends today…”

“And…? Did something happen and now you want to ask me how to hide a body or…?” Hansol said, and the way that Seungkwan laughed back at him eased the tension in his shoulders. It’s been so long since he heard that, and it still has the same effect on him. 

“What, no. The hell Hansol.”

“Okay okay, carry on.”

“Nothing feels the same, you know. After all these months, everything just… doesn’t...” Seungkwan said. Hansol remained quiet, thinking about what the other meant, so Seungkwan went on. 

“Look— before it even happened, I guess I was already feeling things that were new to me. I didn’t know what it meant at that time, so I didn’t push it. Then after, you left without saying _anything,_ so then I thought ‘okay, it was just a mistake, he didn’t mean it’ so I just went on with life, you know. But every day I still keep thinking about it, whenever I’m with my other friends it still feels so weird, and I even tried dating people but nothing works, and I’m sorry I’m rambling right now but I just want to say that I hate you for being like that and, like, I want to know—” 

“Hey, breathe,” Hansol reminded Seungkwan, who was already speaking so fast as if he was rapping a whole verse without breathing. But no matter how fast Seungkwan went, Hansol still understood every word. 

“Yeah, sorry. Okay, just forget about that. You’re probably already with someone or I might be intruding your peace by just barging in like this or—” 

“I’m not with anyone,” Hansol said abruptly, cutting the other’s words. 

“Oh?” 

There was a pause between the two. A very long one. Until Hansol finally spoke. 

“So you mean… until now you….”

“Yes. I just feel like, I won’t be able to—I guess ‘move on’ if I didn’t know what you really meant, and if I just kept all this... anger? towards you. Sorry this is just so out of the blue but I just want to get this over with, even if we don’t talk again aft—”

“Yeah I like you Boo Seungkwan. I think I still do. Yeah, I still do, who am I kidding,” Hansol said abruptly. He was so surprised that not a single stutter was heard from his voice, considering how much flips his whole body was doing internally. 

“Oh, okay, wow. I wasn’t... expecting that but, okay.” 

Hansol giggled as he heard Seungkwan stutter on. He honestly also still doesn’t feel like all of this was real. But then he remembered the way he acted before, the thought flooding his mind with regret. 

“I’m sorry, for what I did. For leaving you behind like that. I was just scared to face it. I didn’t think about what you felt. You were right back then when you said that I only cared about myself.”

“But, in all honestly though,” Seungkwan said in that voice of his that made Hansol’s heart melt for the nth time. “If I were you I would’ve also done the same thing. Hell, I don’t even know what I would have said if you _did_ stay. I should also be sorry because I didn’t reach out to you sooner.” 

“Hey, no. It’s okay. It can’t be undone anymore. What’s important is right now,” the younger replied, a small smile ghosting it’s way into his lips. 

“I still kind of hate you though,” Seungkwan added, though with not as much malice as the word suggests. 

Then Seungkwan asked him the question that made the mood change back to the heavy one they had before. 

“When are you coming back?”

“I don’t know.”

“Let’s start this properly when you come back, okay?”

“Yes please.”

20 

“Hmm, you don’t drink coffee,” Seungkwan said as he saw Hansol enter the book store with two cups in a hand holding a cardboard carrier.

“Nah, one’s choco,” the younger said as he quickly walked closer, almost running towards the other. Seungkwan’s eyes suddenly widened and he didn’t move an inch as Hansol practically zoomed towards him. Hansol didn’t even stop for a brief moment in front of Seungkwan as he enveloped him in a hug. 

Even if Hansol didn’t drink coffee, he did like the smell of it, especially if it’s coming from Seungkwan. 

Seungkwan didn’t reciprocate at first, his mind probably still having a hard time in processing what was actually happening. Sure, of course they’ve hugged before, but this was far too different that it shocked Seungkwan with how much need there was on Hansol’s squeeze, feeling the warmth of the cups on the carrier that rested on his back. The older eventually wrapped his own arms on Hansol’s waist and settled his hands firmly on the other’s back, his own hug probably beating the one he was receiving. 

“Hmm, and your hair was brown yesterday but now it’s blue,” Hansol said after a few seconds into the hug, his voice close and heavy next to Seungkwan’s ear. 

“How’d you even notice with how fast you went?” 

Hansol finally pulled away, a shy smile on his face and both hands finally dropping next to him. 

“Let’s just say I was looking at you through the window and…”

“That’s stalker behavior Hansol,” Seungkwan teased, his hands going up and making an attempt to touch Hansol’s cheek like how he used to do, but quickly hesitating and retracting his hand back as quickly as he had raised them. 

Hansol saw the motion and it instantly reminded him of the unspoken topic at hand. 

“Let’s go drink these at the park.”

20 

“So, your hair…” was the first thing that Hansol said in order to break the silence. They’ve been sitting at a park bench, both of their hands clutching their own drinks as if it would run away from them.

The vibe was unexpectedly… awkward? Hansol was expecting it to be one of those magical romcom scenes where the couple finally crossed paths again and they both have this sparkle in their eyes as they run to each other, and there’s probably going to be doves and a fountain on the background, or cherry blossoms flying in the wind. But of course, this was real life, and they didn’t exactly talk about this moment in detail. 

Seungkwan instantly laughed at the younger’s way of breaking the ice. Though whenever Hansol does, it was always effective, such as now. There is a certain Hansol way of starting a conversation and it was always fruitful.

“Yeah, I— uh, got bored last night. So you know, why not?’ Seungkwan replied, inching closer to Hansol to further make the atmosphere light.

“It—it looks good on you. Yeah, I like it,” and at this point Hansol knew he was blushing. He complimented Seungkwan before, a lot at that, yet doing it right now very much _non platonically,_ of which both of them are now aware of, is very new and very _exciting._

“Mhmm.”

“So…” Seungkwan said, looking like he was raking his brain for something that would lead to the thing, but is not exactly the thing. “You’re… staying?”

“Ah, yeah. Finally,” Hansol replied as he was now the one to inch closer. If this was happening a few years ago he would’ve blamed it on how it was getting cold, but right now he’ll just accept the fact that he wants to get closer because Seungkwan _is_ Seungkwan. “And I haven’t found anyone else, just so you know.”

“Oh, I know,” Seungkwan teased again, and Hansol just felt so glad that he finally managed to clear that one bit of information they’ve been ignoring to talk about for a while. 

“Getting confident now, are we?” 

“Yeah, since you aren’t doing anything else.”

“What do you mean? I was the one that practically ran to you earlier,” the younger said while pouting, hoping that the pout would do something. 

“Not enough.”

“Can I hold your hand then?” 

Then Hansol’s insides jumped in victory as he saw how Seungkwan’s ears reddened at the question. Hansol decides that the rush of blood to the other’s ears was confirmation, so he did hold Seungkwan’s hand which was peacefully laid on his lap. 

“You’re cold. Want a hug?” the younger added, just to make Seungkwan explode. 

“Hansol stop,” Seungkwan practically whined while looking like a tomato, to which Hansol laughed heartily.

“Why?” the other replied, drawing out the y with a small whine, mimicking Seungkwan’s tiny embarrassed tone. “You wanted me to do something so…” then the older replied with a deep laugh, one that Hansol was so proud of knowing that he was the reason of its existence. 

“Ahhh, you really are something Boo Seungkwan.”

And maybe this wasn’t exactly how Hansol envisioned his 20th year as a human being to go. If he told his 8 year old self, “Oh, that guy crying over crayons? Yeah you’ll be holding his hands at some park when you’re 20, and not just as a friends thing by the way,” the poor kid would probably look at him as if he had four eyes. But, there’s this feelng in him that his past self would wholeheartedly agree with him, because he knew he already liked Seungkwan since day one.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! this seemed a little short and could've been a bit longer but im still happy with how it turned out :))
> 
> twt: energyskincare_ (main) svtonigo_au (fics)


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